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| It's been a while, and I've always thought that changing the way I feel is all about convincing myself to feel that way telling myself no to my actual feelings, and my feeling would turn into what I want it to be.
I've tried my very best to not think about it, exhausting myself till the very last breath with workload, get busy all the time, I really thought i could have bypassed my feelings and only feel what I wanted it to be, my mind told me that I had let go of things, but when it appeared, my actual feelings start to take control, I feel so vulnerable, so weak and defenseless, a puny weakling that can't even control his emotions. So tell me, is it right to hide my feelings or completely not remembering any of them feelings for the BETTER good? Cos I would feel that throwing out all my actual emotions would only stir up the shit.
I really have no idea what my emotions bring me, sometimes I don't even know what am I feeling, is it anger? Jealousy? Unsatisfied? It's so hard for me to even differentiate all these feelings, sometimes it makes me so numb that I have to force myself into believing something that my mind tells me it's all lies.
All that I hope for is to exist, as for sometimes I feel so non-existent. Maybe you can call me an attention seeker but it ain't a nice feeling at this position, it makes you feel like your life is so screwed up and you don't worth a single cent.
I'M SO LOST
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| Lots have happened lately, don't even know where to start.
Felt so ripped off at times, but still no one to blame but myself.
A famous philosopher once said :"Don't blame others when you were wrong at first"
I didn't understand that phrase till the day when i realized so much damage that I have done.
I guess it's just too late for me to patch things up.
Only to hope that things will get better.
SORRY THAT I SCREWED UP EVERYONE FOR MY CURIOSITY.
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| Heard of this phrase before?
Let me tell you the story of it.
One day, Monkey saw a jar of cookies. He got excited and wanted to get some cookies.
Without thinkin further, he stuffed his hands right into the cookie jar and grabbed some cookies.
Little did monkey knew, the opening of the jar is only big enough to take out his empty hands.
He struggled for hours just to get his hands and cookies out, passer-by's told him, "you need to LET GO of the cookies to take your hands out!" But the stubborn monkey didn't listen. Went on and on trying to take the cookies.
Finally, he decided not to take the cookies due to the pain on his hands that he was suffering from.
The moral of the story.
MONKEY GOT NOTHING OUT FROM THE COOKIE JAR BUT A BRUISED HAND.
So please look at the JAR before you MONKEYs start putting your hands in it.
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| don't ask me why. i just want the poster. =)
Since i'm here, i'll do free advertising. That is if anyone ever reads my blog anyway.
Guys, try heading to www.adelechow.com
wonderful blog there. Cos there's always pictures of pretty chicks. XD
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| Yes, it says it all, I'm feelin emo right now. Just let me be.
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